Eldridge Never Done No Wrong

Eldridge Hunter was convicted of a crime he did not commit! He lived for a time next door to Methuseala. At that time he was on probation doing a work program at Second Cup to refamiliarize himself with a cross section of society. A tragic sad truth was that he was put in solitary confinement early on in his prison sentence.It was a clerical error that was meant to place "Hunter Eldridge" not Eldridge Hunter in a self committed solitary "protective" custody. You see Hunter Eldridge prosalatized excessively among his fellow inmates about the little known cult sect he had established named "DW" "Do Without"promoted such lifestyle changes as living without running water and sewer and heating homes to but 58 degrees Fahrenheit. Hunter asserted that these practices built character. It was while serving in solitary that Eldridge grew to hate the cream and sugar that was added to the coffee prepared for the prisoners en masse and served in the end (nearly cold) to those serving in solitary. Serving solitary confinement prisoners last was a practice that dated back to Feudal England. Eldridge was out now and had found a purpose in life to convert as many coffee drinkers to drink "Black" coffee as he could. He was never forceful in his endevour he just never queried "Leave room for cream & sugar?" Thereby many customersdid in fact drink a little bit of "Black" coffee just to make room for cream. The parole board as was custom sought out a place for Eldridge after he left a halfway house a house of seven eighths way you might say. This is what brought him into close proximity to Methusala and L.N. Methusala was right next door and L.N.was directly across the street. L.N. worked at a watch repair depot (really just a battery and strap replacement joint) and Methusala was essentially retired. Methusalathe good old sock that he was often gave Eldridge a ride to Second Cup in the morning in his sidecar equiped last year of production Indian motorcycle. Eldridge was sometimes troubled by questions or thoughts that Methusala would put to him like "Do you suppose that at this very moment we are closer to the bginning of time or to the end of time?" All the same Eldridgedid appreciated the ride to work as it was all uphill and he easily skateboarded his way back home. Eldridges situation after parole was at first in two words "innocent fate". His place came furnished but time wears on things. His television being a relatively modern one produced after TV signals were transmitted digitally was conrolled by an infared remote but there was no remote in the house to be found. Eldridge fortunatly could turn the TV off and on with the switch on the case of the TV and the volume was generally at an acceptable level though it did vary from time to time. For a period of time Eldridge thought he somehow could control the channel selection with his own mind! This may have been rooted in the time spent in the silent darkness of solitary confinement where if you stayed still you could feel and then actually hear your heart beat and if you concentrated you could for moments at a time actually hear the blood rushing through veins close to your ear drums. It may have been this that gave Eldridge an even more personal relationship with his conscious mind than most people enjoy. As you might guess it wasn't Eldridges mind that changed the channels (usually to something far more entertaining) What it stemmed from was a situation some years beforehand when a sales peddaling outfit not unlke Watkins or Raleigh or God forbid Amway called "Door to Door Dollars" or "DDD" for short would travel through neighbourhoods peddeling manufacturers overstocked or perhaps out of date but usable items. It was just such a scenerio where the DDD representative was bartering a deal with L.N. on a fine Plasma Flat Panel TV that a transient who was squatting in what was now Eldridges place snatched a Plasma TV for himself as he was now siphoning power from Methusalas outsde outlet with a wire to the outside outlet of his own place and thence feeding his whole household with AC. Methusala was fully aware but was compassionate and allowed it to continue. When the squatter liberated the box with the TV he failed to snatch up the other smaller box that contained the manual various cords and the remote control. Call it Karma, Astrology, Lady Luck or simply the Universe unfolding as it should but whatever L.N. chose to watch due to his proximity across the street, a mirror on Eldridges livingroom wall and the positioning of the previously gained TV set L.N.'s choices through his remote were reflected quite litterally into Eldridges life. It was this and many other factors that contributed to Eldridges post parole rehabilatation and formed him somewhat into the person he is today.