Amusing Discovery Down the Hall Around the Corner

Couple days ago I discovered a room with two big steel doors, it wasn't locked or anything. I pried one open with my fingernails and there was this guy happily working away listening to a radio I think. I asked what he was doing and he said ,"Oh just earning a living and sometimes adding to a written composition I'm working on sort of"

I was on my way out so I didn't stop to chat long but now I'm interested in reading what he has written. He seemed like a decent enough guy and all, the kind you wouldn't worry about if he asked your little sister out on a date. He didn't give off leacher vibes if you know what I mean. I think I'll catch up to him and ask him Whats your story? I'll report back.

Well as it turns out apparently he has binders full of compositions all unpublished very diverse and very very readable. I read a couple pages and found myself getting quite involved then the guy said "I'm sorry I can't let you read any further right now by court order." Let me tell you it was like as if I was four hundred points away from a free game of pinball and he unplugged the machine! I asked what it would take to be able to read more. He says as it stands right now I'll have to wait till the court imposed publishing ban is lifted.

I have a step Uncle who is involved in the justice system in some capacity I wonder if I can influence him to influence them whoever they are to lift this publishing ban. A publishing ban, F--- I'm not aware of a ban on anything but hate literature and various avenues of pornography. The material must be incriminating to persons in high places or could it be that it is revealing ancient methods of effective control of others minds and or bodies, sort of a martial arts of body and soul. Maybe that is the only way they can keep it from the public by keeping the knowledge in an institute locked away till it perishes or becomes so evidently senile that no one would take him seriously.

This is criminal I must do whatever I can to free this knowledge before it is lost forever. I must befriend this fellow gain his confidence and save that knowledge, it is the morally correct action. Nero will be a name that will go down in history.

Pitiful, Stark, Possible Reality

After awhile, it starts getting lonely in here. Having a look at some of the interns here makes me long for the touch of a woman again. Trying to await the next spongebath for when the nurses have to touch me and knowing that they know my excitement is half embarassing and half exhilerating. But then it fades knowing that everything will not be okay. Knowing that all will perish and everyone is on a long road to death the moment they are born is very unsettling to me. Maybe someday I'll figure out what I need to know but until then I guess I'm just going to have to live with it. Perhaps we all just need a vacation. Though on the other hand maybe this is a vacation. It's not unthinkable that there will come a time when we all will walk uphill all the time never feel adequately clothed or fed have only sorrowful memories.We ought to embrace our fellow person and celebrate our existence as it is, we know not from where we came or where we may end. So I beseech you to treat these days as your last for that they may be.

Figured Out Why I'm Here Most Likely

The other afternoon I noticed the door to the records room (in my case answers room) was ajar. Well I took it upon myself to "Investigate" myself, it didn't take long to find my file. When I looked it over things started to trickle then flood back in my memory. I remember it quite clearly now, I was innocently netsurfing when I came across http://www.arcadecabin.com/games/bigredbutton.swf

Then things kinda get hazy and all I remember since then is living here in the daily grind here. The rest of the "induction" report (thats what they call it) is loaded with jargon and psychological implication references. I tried to make sense of it for awhile but gave up when it stated "Red seems to have been a triggering factor".

Still have no idea when I'll ever get out. Oh well no one here steals my Muddy Waters or John Lee Hooker discs. Thats all that really matters.

I Need Help From Almost Anyone

When a person begins to have trouble differentiating between what is real and what is illusion it is reasonable to ask those around ones self for help grasping reality.

What if though, those around you are institutionalized for some of the very same reasons as yourself? They may simply reinforce the delusion that you are so desperatly trying to escape. It is probably best if I continue to believe in myself and be certain that it is the organizations mistake that I am restrained here for I don't know how long now.

I over heard a discussion the other day about a fellow down the hall everyone calls Roofees. I heard the head nurse say to one of her underlings that "they're going to start administering some kind of chemical castration, it serves him right for what he did to his victims" I wonder how that will work out for him, I hope all goes well.

Dr. Schuller today asked me what I would try to do if I knew I couldn't fail. Geez I have enough on my mind already!

Is This Place Really All That Bad?

I sometimes wonder how bad this place actually is. It is far worse then when I was down in Lockport LA. touring around with Edgar but much better then when I was up off the coast of Alaska working on a cruise ship as a deck hand/waiter. I mean, it had it's perks. I could go wherever on the ship that I wanted and could eat and drink as much as I want but, the beds are more comfortable here. There's non of the constant rocking back and forth.When I need something I just call out "guard", I've reduced my needs to nearly nothing its better that way. Sometimes the nurse who comes by is sharp and can even talk about the Iron Butterfly- In a Godda da Vida tour or who would make a good wife for the Lone Ranger. Yesterday we both decided that Amway wouldn't be a good way for her to spend her spare time. I told her about how the last time I saw an old school friend he and his wife told me about Amway and now they're divorced. That pretty much settled it in her mind I think.

There's a man that comes by now and then, he usually has a stethoscope around his neck though oddly he never uses it. We discuss all sorts of things,usually about me. I think next time he comes by I must ask him about the first time he drank so much or smoked so much he passed out.

When that guy in the two tone blue '59 Oldsmobile drives by again I think I'll wave. I think he's lonely, he should let the dog thats chasing his car ride.

I wonder what I'll discover that will change the world, maybe I've discovered it already and just don't know it yet. Maybe when I get out of here I could work on making some of those cool pills that the nurse brings by on the eve of a full moon.